mono y mono

holy shit it has been a long time. i don't even know how i got out of the groove of writing. i use to want to put everything here in this blog, but then one day i didn't. one day turned into a week and then months got away from me.

it would be totally awesome if i could say that a whole lot has changed in my life. on some levels it has, but on most it is about the same as where i left off.

i'm still working. i still have that awesome CTA story to share. and, i still wish i could sleep in every day.

i've been itching to get back into this blog. it's sort of like a phantom pain...you know the one you get when you have a limb amputated and you have an itch that you can't scratch because your arm isn't even there anymore. or maybe that analogy doesn't make sense at all. either way, i wanted to write again so here i am.

i got some interesting news recently. turns out i had mono and never even knew it. i sort of got pissed off because i couldn't get mono to save my life in high school when i wanted it and then i get it and didn 't even know it. i would totally have milked the mono sympathy train for all it was worth. because everyone knows that if you can milk any kind of train it is a sympathy train.

anyway, i am choosing to believe that i had mono while i was not working which would shed some light on to my marathon sleeping. not that i'm not a little proud of my ability to sleep for 24 hours straight, but it isn't normal. all this time i thought i was super bored and i may have been sick. good thing i never played any contact sports while i was unemployed or my pancreas could have totally ruptured. i dodged a bullet there.

a little bit of nothing and a whole lot of other stuff

Who lost all knowledge of how to juggle a life and work? This girl. I was basically off the grid last week. This work thing is much more time consuming than I remembered. With nine or so hour days and a commute that is over an hour both ways...I am spent when I get home. I look at the clock and cry a little on the inside knowing that I have only about three hours to do shit before I need to go to bed if I want to sleep for 8 hours. And who has slept for 8 hours every night this week? Not this girl. I've been rockin' like 6 or 6.5. Totally unlike me and the cause of my marathon sleep session on Saturday.

I have good news to report though. I am totally digging my job. I know it is temporary and I know that I have only been there a week and a day, but I like it. I tried to enter this work experience with a different attitude and approach than I have ever really taken before...and it is working. I do think I have always been a relatively good employee (see: awesome), but I think this new approach I am taking is making me happier and an even better employee and coworker. So yeah. I like what I am doing. The program is totally awesome and I just know it will make some monumental changes in the lives of others. I'm sad that it is temporary and sort of a band-aid fix for the clients we are working with...but, change doesn't happen overnight and it is often about small victories.

Anyway, in my last post I went on and on about how I didn't do much during work sabbatical. (Yes, I realized it wasn't a sabbatical. It just sounds so much nicer than unemployment.) I feel the need to share the things that I did get to do with my time off that I may not have shared with you...

• Got a library card
• Hung curtains in my room
• Watched the 5th season of Weeds
• Returned to being a brunette after spending four months as a blonde
• Rearranged the furniture in my apartment 3 times
• Finished a photo album I've been working on for at least 3 years
• Learned to fold origami cranes
• Hung pictures on my walls
• Used my sewing machine
• Got a second tattoo
• Sat in the audience for a taping of Oprah
• Watched seasons 1-3 of 30 Rock
• Began painting one nail off
• Went on some bad dates
• Read A Million Little Pieces (and loved it)
• Took a yoga class
• Downloaded a shit ton of music
• Drank a lot of wine
• Visited my dad for over a week...which I haven't done since perhaps middle school
• Ended a friendship
• Went on long walks in the city
• Memorized my library card number
• Hung out with my high school best friend
• Went to a candy convention
• Made almost all my Christmas presents by hand
• Threw up in a cab (it was New Year's Eve...give me that)
• Installed my window air conditioner all by myself
• Met one of my new favorite bloggers for drinks and Mexican food
• Rode on the back of a scooter for the first time
• Realized I don't hate all salad dressings
• Went to Wisconsin
• Helped my mom do flowers for a wedding
• Met Craig Ferguson
• Talked on the phone for hours to my best friend
• Learned who my real friends are
• Bought a plant for my apartment, so I was not the only living thing here
• Ordered spray paint online
• Went to a St. Louis Cardinals game
• Saw Michal Jackson's childhood home
• Got taken care of by my mom
• Made coffee at home
• Started this blog

So, I did a whole bunch of nothing...but, I also did a whole lot of stuff too. I'm not going to lie and say that I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have to set my alarm in the morning, but I am glad to be where I am right now. I don't think I can ask for much more.

P.S. I have an AMAZING CTA story for you, but you will have to wait a few days. A girl can only write so much when she is trying to get adequate sleep.

10 months and four days...

That's right, 10 months and four days ago today I worked my last day at my former job. It was the day that I was laid off and quasi dumped via a Facebook message (I say "quasi dumped" because we weren't even dating and he was way over dramatic).

When I started writing this blog I had grand ideas that it would be some Adventures in Unemployment (a la Adventures in Babysitting); however, unemployment wasn't all I dreamed it would be. I'm not going to lie and say that it wasn't totally bitchin' to never have to wake up or go to sleep at a set time. I won't say that never having to say, "I don't want to go to work tomorrow," wasn't awesome. Visiting my family for over a week, did it. Had friends come in town, check. Okay, it unemployment sort of did rock. However, it sucked too. I lived on hardly anything. I got stuck on an insane sleep schedule. I lost all idea of purpose. I would go days without leaving my apartment. And, I missed almost a whole year. If it were a drink...unemployment would have been half empty with only a little bit of goodness at the bottom. So, the blog didn't really chronicle my adventures in unemployment. I apologize.

But wait, you caught on to the fact that I speak of unemployment in the past tense? That's right bitches...I started a new job today. It fell in my lap and I did little to no work to get it. Before anyone who is unemployed stops following me or gets all pissy because I did very little to break the unemployment trend...take satisfaction in knowing that it is temporary. It is a four month program that I was asked to help start up. It is somewhat impossible to sum up my first day. I was busy, but didn't even have an assigned desk and didn't even know what my actual title was until about noonish. So, we will see.

The good news for you is that I will have some fucking awesome CTA stories to share. I basically travel the length of the red line to get to work. On the way home, while waiting for the train, I was approached by a man who looked about my age. He said, "you got a man at home?" I said, "Yes," which is a lie but who wants to tell a stranger on the train platform, "nope...I'm single. I've been that way for a little while now." I will answer that...no one. Anyway, he then said, "well, it won't hurt if we are friends." I, for some unknown reason, entertained this and said, "no, it won't hurt." He responded, "well, it might a little." I put my iPod ear buds in at that point.

Later bitches. I have to get to be because I have to be at work tomorrow. Weird.

i'm no meteorologist

I once kissed this guy and lost all track of time.

At some point he leaned his head back and closed his eyes. He opened them again and slowly turned to face me, looking me right in the eye he said, "wow, when it rains it pours." He shook his head slightly as he said this and gave me a little smile out of one side of his mouth. Then, we both pretended as if he had never said it.

That kiss launched what would be a year and a half relationship. It was a relationship filled with wonderfully good times and some I'd rather forget.

I really liked him and a small part of me might even admit that I loved him. I chose to ignore what he really meant that night in July when he talked to me about raining and pouring. It took a year and a half, but the reality of what he said on that first night was the final nail in the coffin we built for ourselves.

In the end, he was right though. When it rains...it definitely does pour. I thought about him tonight. I thought about what he said because it is pouring in my world right now. But, I am welcoming it.

While can I hear the rain and thunder outside my apartment right now...I'm not talking about the weather and neither was he. We just speak of very different rain.

just a spoon full...

I forgot to mention something really monumental last week. I am going to blame it on the sugar induced coma I have been in for the past few days. Anyway, I attended this:


Think:

It is pretty much a sweets lover's dream come true. Think five football fields full of candy samples. When I walked away at the end of the day, I had a shopping bag full of candy from all over the world. Many of which are new products that have yet to be released. To sum it up, it is pretty much like Trick-or-Treating for adults without the costumes, which equals awesome in my book.

P.S. They even had a tiny bit of booze there too!

why did I not know about this?

did anyone else?

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the apple wasn't so sweet

Remember how I expressed my undying love for Apple just yesterday? Remember how they granted me access to re-download all of the music I've purchased on iTunes over the past three years? Well, I completed the download process....and about 75% of the songs sound like they are being played on a skipping CD. Biggest download fail ever. So, my heart is once again broken in the absence of my music.

I've crafted a nice little letter to my Apple representative and am compiling an excel spreadsheet of all the damaged songs. I am only in the E's and the list has 75 songs. Fingers crossed they come through for me again.

Updates to come.

he stepped out of the shadows...

...and into the hallway. To be fair it may be more appropriate to say he stepped out of the bathroom and into the hallway. That's right, friends. I saw my motherfucking vomiting neighbor. Now, if you haven't been reading my blog since I started writing or you haven't gone back and read the archives (shame on you), you must read this post about my vomit-tastic neighbor.

Now that you have read aforementioned blog post, you understand why this is a big deal. I've lived in this apartment for over a year now. I lived next door to the most vomiting person on the planet and I've never seen him. Not once. Never have we passed in the hallway, taken the elevator together (what, I live on the third floor and take the elevator...deal with it)...we have never seen each other...that is until this morning. I got up to go do some impulse spending at Walgreens and grab a cup of coffee. Upon my return I got to my door and his door swings open. I almost wanted to turn my head to the side so I couldn't see the man behind the...vomit veil....let's run with it and pretend it makes sense. I couldn't resist though. I looked right into his throw up eyes and responded when he said hello. And you can bet your sweet ass it took everything in me not to blurt out, "So, what the fuck is up with all the throwing up? I mean seriously. Not only are you seriously playing with the health of your esophagus and teeth, but I am worried about my plumbing." 80% worried about my plumbing 20% worried about his health. Sorry...I don't know him. I have to say though that I was disappointed. In front of me stood a slightly pudgy Asian dude. Totally dorky. And not at all bulimic looking. He had hair, that needed cutting, pretty much ruling out the chemotherapy theory.

So, I am sort of pissed at him for letting me see him. He has ruined the magic. Now every time he throws up with the violence that I have come to know and expect....I will see he dorky ass vomit face and it will be slightly less funny.

Why vomiter? (Yep, you are downgraded to a lower case letter) Why did you ruin my throw up dreams?

in which i tell you a story about how technology hates me...

Yes, once upon a time there was a girl who tried to live harmoniously with the technology that rules modern day life. She had a computer, a smart phone, an iPod, and....well, okay maybe that is it...but still. This girl loved the technology and how it advanced her life. How could she ever tell time without a cell phone? Or, how could she keep in contact with friends and family without a computer and access to email? She couldn't, right? Unfortunately, the love was not mutual. Technology hated her.


A year ago her motherboard completely fried and she lost everything. The frying of said motherboard may or may not have occurred while she was viewing the personal website of Joey from Real World Hollywood and Celebrity Rehab 3. A mistake I will never make again because I am confident that it caused the crash of my computer. Don't risk it! Anyway, it turns out that the motherboard was recalled so HP fixed my computer for no money. There was a cost though...it cost me all of my data. Big sad face. I tried to get over it. Surprisingly, Apple helped ease the pain by allowing me to redownload the hundreds of songs I had purchased on iTunes that were now lost. Big kiss to Apple. For real.

So, I learned my lesson and purchased an external hard drive. (Full disclosure: purchase of said external hard drive took about a year...so what) All would be right with the world, correct? I could live through another computer catastrophe because all my data was safe and sound on my little black passport. When my computer was infected by a virus, I confidently performed a system restore. All my data was safe, so I didn't care if I had to wipe everything off my computer.

I didn't care until about two or three weeks after restoring my computer when I plugged in my external hard drive and it made a crazy noise and didn't work. That's right boys and girls. DEAD! The asshole Geek Squad man was less then apologetic or understanding and said, "it's a machine. they break." When I said all of my data was on the hard drive he shrugged his shoulders.

That's right. No picture, no music, no nothing. Clean slate. So, one year later I again had to kiss Apple's ass and send them an email begging for the rights to redownload my music. Once again they came to my rescue, which basically makes me heart them. Although, I am thinking I should just switch to a wind-up clock, a bicycle powered television, and a solar powered watch because technology clearly has it out for me.

lost and found

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prick and stick

I'm thinking about this....

I would like opinions and feedback. Have you done it? Did you like it? Did you see changes in your health/well-being? If you haven't done it, would you do it? Please, share away.

pursuit of happiness

"It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit."

-Denis Waitley

There is a lot of truth to this statement.

Very often, it is the journey that brings us the greatest happiness...

the destination becomes less important.

We find happiness in unexpected people, things, and experiences.

And, I found a strange sense of peace in this video.

I actually can't stop watching it.

Besides the obvious bias I have due to it being filmed in Chicago...

I am just insanely drawn to it.

It looks so freeing.

Enjoy...

Pursuit Of Happiness from Nick Brazinsky on Vimeo.

"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

i've got a crush on you...

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That's right, I'm lookin' at you Chicago.

you didn't get away...i let you go

It's been coming up with increased frequency lately...the one that got a way. This theme of being reminded of my "one" started a few weeks ago over drinks with a friend. Then, I came across a picture of him in the background of some group shot on a friend's Facebook page. And yesterday, I swore I saw him in a little vintage shop. I even doubled back and looked again. It was his twin. Or him. Who knows. I walked away not even knowing totally if it was him or not. I can pretty much promise it wasn't. He doesn't live in Chicago as far as I know. But, it sure looked like him. He has popped up in my dreams and his name appears places. He is haunting me.

It is funny. The idea of "the one that got away." That person is romanticized. You remember only the loveliest of qualities and times. You remember the way they did cute stuff like call you on your way home from work to say they really wanted to make you dinner...if that was okay with you. Or, wink at you across a crowded room to let you know that you might as well be the only two people there. Stuff like when they kissed you it was as if the world didn't exist but in your kiss. How they told you they were proud of you. Or said you were the most favorite friend. You forget about when they dropped off the face of the earth for days at a time. Or how they couldn't say certain words that you needed to hear. You push from memory that they wouldn't come to your family Christmas party. Or that there was a time when you weren't the only one in the room or their heart. You forget all the bad and remember the stuff that makes your heart skip a beat.

But, today as I walked away from that little shop still not knowing if it was him, I thought of something. He wasn't "the one" that got away. I was. Your "one" doesn't get away. They are the one for a reason. They aren't perfect, but they surely don't break your heart in a way that if they ever came back...they wouldn't fit in it anymore.

This isn't a sad realization. It was almost exciting. The whole concept of having one that gets away is a fallacy. No one gets away if they are suppose to be there.

crazy loves to party

At about 11 o'clock this morning, I was riding a nearly empty bus downtown on my way to run some errands. I was settled in to my favorite seat on the bus (yes, I have favorites...don't judge) and was enjoying my Starbucks coffee and the peace of the quiet bus....when the doors opened at the next stop.

In busts a woman who loudly announces, "Let's get this party started!" She continues down the aisle dancing the whole way. She stopped a few times, stepped back, and continued on dancing. "Parrrrrrtyyyyy!" she sang. Awesome right? But wait, it gets more awesome. She chooses the seat directly next to me (despite the fact that there were only about five other riders and a plethora of open seats) and instructs me to dance, "walk it out," and "shake that body." While I appreciated her enthusiasm, I don't think that 11:00am or the 145 is the time or place to "get the party started."

So, sadly, her efforts were in vein. The party never got started; however, there is always tomorrow...or the next bus.

i want to be an olsen twin

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ey, ey

I love my friends. And, I love their stories because they definitely add value to my life.

My best friend has been dating her boyfriend for almost six years now. Wow, I just now realized when I typed it that it had been that long. Anyway, as would happen in a six year relationship they have discussed children once or twice. (And by once or twice I am sure the numbers are up there in the hundreds because come on people...it has been almost six years.) Anyway, besides the normal hesitation about children there has been one hurdle she has felt needed to be overcome before ever seriously going down the baby road. And, it isn't marriage or joint home ownership as you may think. Nope. It is....

Captain. Don't be fooled into thinking that it is alcohol she doesn't want to give up. Truth be told, that will be a hurdle in and of itself. Yet, alcohol is not the problem. No, no, my friends...it is Captain. As in a name. As in Captain Edwards...the name her boyfriend has proclaimed will be that of his first born son. Captain. Captain, of what? Life I guess. Captain. That's right. Like the child's name would be, Captain. A name, I don't even know I would use for a dog. Captain.

Good news though. She recently spent a long weekend with her boyfriend at the beach and the topic of children's names came up. When asked what he wanted to name children one day, he responded, "I don't really know. I haven't given it serious thought." Which was a secret victory for my friend and for their future child.

Looks like Captain went out to sea never to be heard from again. We hope, at least, because I am NOT calling any baby Captain.

in which i buy something to make me smile

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Yep, this little guy found his way into my heart and onto my wall. Love.

P.S. You must immediately go to the artist's page linked above and purchase something. The entire collection is amazing!

i heart nashville

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I am updating my last post with pictures. Have a look.