holy shit it has been a long time. i don't even know how i got out of the groove of writing. i use to want to put everything here in this blog, but then one day i didn't. one day turned into a week and then months got away from me.
it would be totally awesome if i could say that a whole lot has changed in my life. on some levels it has, but on most it is about the same as where i left off.
i'm still working. i still have that awesome CTA story to share. and, i still wish i could sleep in every day.
i've been itching to get back into this blog. it's sort of like a phantom pain...you know the one you get when you have a limb amputated and you have an itch that you can't scratch because your arm isn't even there anymore. or maybe that analogy doesn't make sense at all. either way, i wanted to write again so here i am.
i got some interesting news recently. turns out i had mono and never even knew it. i sort of got pissed off because i couldn't get mono to save my life in high school when i wanted it and then i get it and didn 't even know it. i would totally have milked the mono sympathy train for all it was worth. because everyone knows that if you can milk any kind of train it is a sympathy train.
anyway, i am choosing to believe that i had mono while i was not working which would shed some light on to my marathon sleeping. not that i'm not a little proud of my ability to sleep for 24 hours straight, but it isn't normal. all this time i thought i was super bored and i may have been sick. good thing i never played any contact sports while i was unemployed or my pancreas could have totally ruptured. i dodged a bullet there.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
a little bit of nothing and a whole lot of other stuff
Who lost all knowledge of how to juggle a life and work? This girl. I was basically off the grid last week. This work thing is much more time consuming than I remembered. With nine or so hour days and a commute that is over an hour both ways...I am spent when I get home. I look at the clock and cry a little on the inside knowing that I have only about three hours to do shit before I need to go to bed if I want to sleep for 8 hours. And who has slept for 8 hours every night this week? Not this girl. I've been rockin' like 6 or 6.5. Totally unlike me and the cause of my marathon sleep session on Saturday.
I have good news to report though. I am totally digging my job. I know it is temporary and I know that I have only been there a week and a day, but I like it. I tried to enter this work experience with a different attitude and approach than I have ever really taken before...and it is working. I do think I have always been a relatively good employee (see: awesome), but I think this new approach I am taking is making me happier and an even better employee and coworker. So yeah. I like what I am doing. The program is totally awesome and I just know it will make some monumental changes in the lives of others. I'm sad that it is temporary and sort of a band-aid fix for the clients we are working with...but, change doesn't happen overnight and it is often about small victories.
Anyway, in my last post I went on and on about how I didn't do much during work sabbatical. (Yes, I realized it wasn't a sabbatical. It just sounds so much nicer than unemployment.) I feel the need to share the things that I did get to do with my time off that I may not have shared with you...
- Got a library card
- Hung curtains in my room
- Watched the 5th season of Weeds
- Returned to being a brunette after spending four months as a blonde
- Rearranged the furniture in my apartment 3 times
- Finished a photo album I've been working on for at least 3 years
- Learned to fold origami cranes
- Hung pictures on my walls
- Used my sewing machine
- Got a second tattoo
- Sat in the audience for a taping of Oprah
- Watched seasons 1-3 of 30 Rock
- Began painting one nail off
- Went on some bad dates
- Read A Million Little Pieces (and loved it)
- Took a yoga class
- Downloaded a shit ton of music
- Drank a lot of wine
- Visited my dad for over a week...which I haven't done since perhaps middle school
- Ended a friendship
- Went on long walks in the city
- Memorized my library card number
- Hung out with my high school best friend
- Went to a candy convention
- Made almost all my Christmas presents by hand
- Threw up in a cab (it was New Year's Eve...give me that)
- Installed my window air conditioner all by myself
- Met one of my new favorite bloggers for drinks and Mexican food
- Rode on the back of a scooter for the first time
- Realized I don't hate all salad dressings
- Went to Wisconsin
- Helped my mom do flowers for a wedding
- Met Craig Ferguson
- Talked on the phone for hours to my best friend
- Learned who my real friends are
- Bought a plant for my apartment, so I was not the only living thing here
- Ordered spray paint online
- Went to a St. Louis Cardinals game
- Saw Michal Jackson's childhood home
- Got taken care of by my mom
- Made coffee at home
- Started this blog
So, I did a whole bunch of nothing...but, I also did a whole lot of stuff too. I'm not going to lie and say that I wouldn't be happy if I didn't have to set my alarm in the morning, but I am glad to be where I am right now. I don't think I can ask for much more.
P.S. I have an AMAZING CTA story for you, but you will have to wait a few days. A girl can only write so much when she is trying to get adequate sleep.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
i might need to change professions
I can't sleep. Surprise!
Yep, I am trying to look on the bright side. As a result of me not sleeping, I have two really weird things to tell you about. The first, well, just see for yourself:
Please make sure you look at the picture closely. No, I didn't edit this. Yes, apparently, "A DOOZY" is a meteorological term. Who knew? The second thing you ask? Well, as I lay in my bed trying to sleep I began to hear this annoying clicking sort of noise. It was coming from my kitchen, but I couldn't figure out what it was. It was a clicky rattley noise. I sat up and was about to go look when all of the sudden my apartment jolts. The jolt is what I would describe as somewhat violent. No, not me...my whole apartment. My heart immediately began to race and I went into the kitchen. The clicking noise was coming from a mug that was sitting on top of this tin on my counter. It was rocking back and forth. Now, I will admit that I have a tendency to over react and jump to conclusions about things like this. My imagination just tends to run a little wild. No joking aside though. We just had a FUCKING EARTHQUAKE! Seriously! And, while it may have been a touch crazy, I headed over to the U.S. Geological Survey website (I had to google it first to find out where I should go...I don't have it as a favorite or anything crazy like that) turns out...there was an earthquake! Don't believe me? Here you go...a magnitude 4.3 earthquake. Or you can read this about the earthquake. Totally crazy. Although my heart was still beating out of my chest, I felt a little proud that I felt it and knew exactly what it was. Basically, I'm a seismic genius.
UPDATE: I just got a CNN breaking news alert text on my phone about the earthquake. Too late CNN, tell me something I didn't already know!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
left overs
Sweet gsus it has been forever since I last wrote a real post. And I guess I have proved myself quite the liar with the whole "for real, tomorrow...I'll write tomorrow," crap I did a few days ago. In my defense, when it was a today...it clearly was not tomorrow anymore...it was today. So, I had to wait until tomorrow came. Right?
Anyway, Thanksgiving and Cuddle Gate 2009. So, I took the train from Chicago to New Jersey because I am a touch crazy about flying. Another story all together. I was pretty jazzed about the trip though. I had a couple really good books to read, some movies, and lots of sleeping to do. I bought dinner to eat on the train because we pulled out of Union Station at 6 something in the evening. Real fast, train travel is the way to go if you are a late person. I mean, not that I am or anything, just saying. I mean, I am assuming that you can show up at the train station with a little less than 30 minutes before you train leaves and still have plenty of time to check your bags and board and stuff. Just a guess.
So, I board the train and see that I am assigned an aisle seat. Not. Happy. (Jan.) I get ready to put my stuff down and this youngish guy says, "Are you in seat 27?" Why yes, yes I am. He responds, "I'm 28. Looks like it is you and me babe." Ugh. With his use of the word "babe" to me...a total stranger...I knew what I was about to do next was totally going to work. "Oh, I am totally jealous of your window seat." (Bat eyelashes, pout lip, girl stuff, girl stuff) "Take it. It's dark out anyway. I'm not going to see shit anyway." Yes, it worked. And, he is apparently an idiot. I don't want to see anything outside. I wanted to lean against the window while I slept. What I didn't know was that this whole plan would fail. Majorly. With no window...he had very few options for where he would rest his head when he slept. And, if we get technical, he chose two options...my right boob and my left. We will get to that in a second.
We have barely gotten out of Chicago and he proceeds to tell me that he is 36. Divorced four months ago. Don't worry, it was his second marriage. He has three kids. Two boys and a girl. The girl is 18 months old. Both of his ex-wives are strippers. He is done with strippers. He has been on a train since yesterday. Oh, surprise...he is traveling to the SAME DESTINATION AS ME! 24 hours together he proclaims. "We have a lot of time to get to know each other." I think, "I can't fall asleep soon enough. Does anyone have any horse tranquilizers? I would rather not get to know him further. They can be for me or for him." He continues to say that he is traveling from Texas. He hasn't been outside of Texas in 15 years. He is moving to Atlantic City to live with his dad. Winner. He can't wait to live in Atlantic City because there is "so much to do there." Oh, he is super drunk too. Sort of like frat boy drunk, but not frat boy because he didn't go to college. He lists everything he has had to drink in the last 24 hours. I wonder why he is not dead. He tells me he could never live in Chicago because there is "nothing to do here. It is the middle of no where." He again says he is very jazzed to live in Atlantic City where there is "so much to do: the beach, casinos, strip clubs, bars. They have everything." I am officially over him at this point. No you don't dis on my city! I tell him that there is surprisingly a lot to do in Chicago because it is...I don't know...just the third largest city in the country. (fact) He shrugs his shoulders and says we can talk some more, but for now he is going to go get a drink.
He comes back about two hours later...just when I am trying to go to sleep. He mumbles about being drunk and making out with some girl a few cars up. Confusing the hell out of me. Whatever. He says that she will probably "totally sleep with [him]." He asks me if he should go back and "do her." I say he definitely should because I want him gone. He leaves again.
He comes back about 45 minutes later. I have my eyes closed at this point. He ignores this and puts his arm on my legs and leans in and tells me has my back. He "won't let anything happen to me." I, stupidly, entertain this conversation and ask if he is talking about on the train because I doubt he will have to "get my back." He tells me he loves me and that even though we don't really know each other well he thinks I am a "really awesome chick." I ask if he even remembers my name because I know the answer. Surprise! He doesn't. He begs me to tell him and I say, "Emily," and roll over. He goes on and on about how Emily is "such a sexy name," which I don't even understand. How is it sexy? Like, would it wear hot lingerie if it could? Apparently it would because he says it is "mad sexy." He tries to cuddle in to me and tells me that he didn't sleep with that girl. He tells me she is a "freak." Funny, coming from him. He asks if he should bring her back to our seat. I am over this. He then says she would get really jealous if she came back here and saw us together. This is odd because we are most definitely not together. I tell him to finish his drink because I do not want the red wine in his plastic cup to spill on me when he passes out. I roll to the side and go to sleep.
I wake up several hours later and wish I could show you in person what I saw. I looked down to find his arm around my waist. And, his head resting on...MY BREASTS! We were entering a station and the train was going slowly and bumping around. I watched as his head bounced on my tits. Awesome, right? Funny thing is, I was faced with a decision and ultimately felt that leaving him there was my best bet. I didn't want to wake him up and start the talking machine. I went back to sleep.
Anyway, Thanksgiving and Cuddle Gate 2009. So, I took the train from Chicago to New Jersey because I am a touch crazy about flying. Another story all together. I was pretty jazzed about the trip though. I had a couple really good books to read, some movies, and lots of sleeping to do. I bought dinner to eat on the train because we pulled out of Union Station at 6 something in the evening. Real fast, train travel is the way to go if you are a late person. I mean, not that I am or anything, just saying. I mean, I am assuming that you can show up at the train station with a little less than 30 minutes before you train leaves and still have plenty of time to check your bags and board and stuff. Just a guess.So, I board the train and see that I am assigned an aisle seat. Not. Happy. (Jan.) I get ready to put my stuff down and this youngish guy says, "Are you in seat 27?" Why yes, yes I am. He responds, "I'm 28. Looks like it is you and me babe." Ugh. With his use of the word "babe" to me...a total stranger...I knew what I was about to do next was totally going to work. "Oh, I am totally jealous of your window seat." (Bat eyelashes, pout lip, girl stuff, girl stuff) "Take it. It's dark out anyway. I'm not going to see shit anyway." Yes, it worked. And, he is apparently an idiot. I don't want to see anything outside. I wanted to lean against the window while I slept. What I didn't know was that this whole plan would fail. Majorly. With no window...he had very few options for where he would rest his head when he slept. And, if we get technical, he chose two options...my right boob and my left. We will get to that in a second.
We have barely gotten out of Chicago and he proceeds to tell me that he is 36. Divorced four months ago. Don't worry, it was his second marriage. He has three kids. Two boys and a girl. The girl is 18 months old. Both of his ex-wives are strippers. He is done with strippers. He has been on a train since yesterday. Oh, surprise...he is traveling to the SAME DESTINATION AS ME! 24 hours together he proclaims. "We have a lot of time to get to know each other." I think, "I can't fall asleep soon enough. Does anyone have any horse tranquilizers? I would rather not get to know him further. They can be for me or for him." He continues to say that he is traveling from Texas. He hasn't been outside of Texas in 15 years. He is moving to Atlantic City to live with his dad. Winner. He can't wait to live in Atlantic City because there is "so much to do there." Oh, he is super drunk too. Sort of like frat boy drunk, but not frat boy because he didn't go to college. He lists everything he has had to drink in the last 24 hours. I wonder why he is not dead. He tells me he could never live in Chicago because there is "nothing to do here. It is the middle of no where." He again says he is very jazzed to live in Atlantic City where there is "so much to do: the beach, casinos, strip clubs, bars. They have everything." I am officially over him at this point. No you don't dis on my city! I tell him that there is surprisingly a lot to do in Chicago because it is...I don't know...just the third largest city in the country. (fact) He shrugs his shoulders and says we can talk some more, but for now he is going to go get a drink.
He comes back about two hours later...just when I am trying to go to sleep. He mumbles about being drunk and making out with some girl a few cars up. Confusing the hell out of me. Whatever. He says that she will probably "totally sleep with [him]." He asks me if he should go back and "do her." I say he definitely should because I want him gone. He leaves again.
He comes back about 45 minutes later. I have my eyes closed at this point. He ignores this and puts his arm on my legs and leans in and tells me has my back. He "won't let anything happen to me." I, stupidly, entertain this conversation and ask if he is talking about on the train because I doubt he will have to "get my back." He tells me he loves me and that even though we don't really know each other well he thinks I am a "really awesome chick." I ask if he even remembers my name because I know the answer. Surprise! He doesn't. He begs me to tell him and I say, "Emily," and roll over. He goes on and on about how Emily is "such a sexy name," which I don't even understand. How is it sexy? Like, would it wear hot lingerie if it could? Apparently it would because he says it is "mad sexy." He tries to cuddle in to me and tells me that he didn't sleep with that girl. He tells me she is a "freak." Funny, coming from him. He asks if he should bring her back to our seat. I am over this. He then says she would get really jealous if she came back here and saw us together. This is odd because we are most definitely not together. I tell him to finish his drink because I do not want the red wine in his plastic cup to spill on me when he passes out. I roll to the side and go to sleep.
I wake up several hours later and wish I could show you in person what I saw. I looked down to find his arm around my waist. And, his head resting on...MY BREASTS! We were entering a station and the train was going slowly and bumping around. I watched as his head bounced on my tits. Awesome, right? Funny thing is, I was faced with a decision and ultimately felt that leaving him there was my best bet. I didn't want to wake him up and start the talking machine. I went back to sleep.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
i'm leaving on a midnight train to georgia...
....okay it is really a 6:30pm train and I am going to New Jersey, but it sounds better saying it that way.
Yep, I can't wait! I am also jazzed about this long train trip. I know. I am crazy. I have two Netflix movies and three books and plan on updating my iPod. Even though, if I am totally honest, I will probably sleep for a good 85% of the 23 hour trip. That's right. I can sleep for a really long time. Deal with it.
Before I leave I need to do laundry, wash probably every dish I own because they all sit dirty in my kitchen, change the sheets on my bed, clean up the mess I have made of my apartment, and pack. Just a few things, ya know? So, what am I doing right now with this long To Do list waiting to be completed? Lounging my my office (i.e. my bed). Have I said before how much I enjoy not working? If not, I heart not working.
Yep, I can't wait! I am also jazzed about this long train trip. I know. I am crazy. I have two Netflix movies and three books and plan on updating my iPod. Even though, if I am totally honest, I will probably sleep for a good 85% of the 23 hour trip. That's right. I can sleep for a really long time. Deal with it.Before I leave I need to do laundry, wash probably every dish I own because they all sit dirty in my kitchen, change the sheets on my bed, clean up the mess I have made of my apartment, and pack. Just a few things, ya know? So, what am I doing right now with this long To Do list waiting to be completed? Lounging my my office (i.e. my bed). Have I said before how much I enjoy not working? If not, I heart not working.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
AC and I'm not talking Slater
I was tricked yesterday when I became very sleepy at 9pm. I thought, "This is your night. A full night's sleep is actually going to happen!" I was so pumped up for real sleep, during real sleeping hours. I ran to my bed and quickly fell asleep. Off to a good start....that quickly ended at 1am. That's right, four hours. After four hours I was wide awake again. I decided that I wasn't going to play this little game that I've been playing with sleep for over a month now. I decided to embrace my awakened state and spent my time very productively cruising the internet and watching tv shows online.
The weird thing was that when I woke up I heard this strange noise coming from my air conditioner. It sounded like it was mad or something. Well, it was. I opened the vent thing to find that it was all frozen and frosted up. I turned it off and pouted that I would have to wait for it to defrost before turning it back on. I think we have gone over my love for the AC before. I. Heart. Air. Conditioning.
Seriously, if there was a support group for people with an unhealthy love for air conditioning, I would collect chips and introduce myself to the group, "My name is Emily and I am an air conditioneroholic."
Anyway, I turned the fan on in my room and hoped the AC would defrost quickly. Well, at about 4 or 5am I realized it was fully defrosted. Mind you that it was solid ice, so it took a while. Anyway, I turned it back on and felt a moment of pure joy. I returned to my computer where I was obviously doing some very important work to find the local temperature displayed on my screen...48 degrees. Oh, and I am talking Fahrenheit. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I was trying to use the air conditioner when it was 48 degrees outside. I have a problem.
Before you freak out too terribly, I turned it back off and opened the window. Happy now?
The weird thing was that when I woke up I heard this strange noise coming from my air conditioner. It sounded like it was mad or something. Well, it was. I opened the vent thing to find that it was all frozen and frosted up. I turned it off and pouted that I would have to wait for it to defrost before turning it back on. I think we have gone over my love for the AC before. I. Heart. Air. Conditioning.
Seriously, if there was a support group for people with an unhealthy love for air conditioning, I would collect chips and introduce myself to the group, "My name is Emily and I am an air conditioneroholic."
Anyway, I turned the fan on in my room and hoped the AC would defrost quickly. Well, at about 4 or 5am I realized it was fully defrosted. Mind you that it was solid ice, so it took a while. Anyway, I turned it back on and felt a moment of pure joy. I returned to my computer where I was obviously doing some very important work to find the local temperature displayed on my screen...48 degrees. Oh, and I am talking Fahrenheit. That's right ladies and gentlemen, I was trying to use the air conditioner when it was 48 degrees outside. I have a problem.
Before you freak out too terribly, I turned it back off and opened the window. Happy now?
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
being horizontal
So, I've been having trouble sleeping. Or, I've been having trouble going to sleep. And, in bed before 1am? Never happens. This is nothing that is a secret. I've blogged about it. And, if you are paying attention to the time stamps you are well aware of this anyway.
I talked to my doctor about it. He gave me this sleep program to follow to retrain myself. Basically, I need to pick a minimum sleep threshold and a time I want to wake up at. I can only be in bed for the minimum sleep threshold. so, if i want to sleep eight hours and wake up at 8am i am to get in bed at midnight. No matter how long it takes me to fall asleep I am suppose to get up at 8am. Eventually (or so he says) this will retrain me and put me back on a schedule. But, he strictly said, "You can not be horizontal for any other time during the day. No naps whatsoever."
I shared this with my mom. She responded, "What if you go on a date and want to have sex?"
"Ummmmm, ooookay. We're just going to pretend you didn't say that."
I talked to my doctor about it. He gave me this sleep program to follow to retrain myself. Basically, I need to pick a minimum sleep threshold and a time I want to wake up at. I can only be in bed for the minimum sleep threshold. so, if i want to sleep eight hours and wake up at 8am i am to get in bed at midnight. No matter how long it takes me to fall asleep I am suppose to get up at 8am. Eventually (or so he says) this will retrain me and put me back on a schedule. But, he strictly said, "You can not be horizontal for any other time during the day. No naps whatsoever."
I shared this with my mom. She responded, "What if you go on a date and want to have sex?"
"Ummmmm, ooookay. We're just going to pretend you didn't say that."
(The truth is though that I've made this same comment to most of my friends when discussing said sleep plan. I just don't need my mom to go there.)
Friday, August 28, 2009
there's always tomorrow
Another day, another failed attempt to wake up at a respectable time. I tried. I really did. I did technically wake up and respond to some emails on my phone, but never did I step out of bed. And, I quickly fell back asleep. It is amazing how sleep is the last thing I am able to do at night, but I could literally sleep until the sunsets. I don't even have to still be tired. My mind just says, "You don't really need to be awake." to which I respond, "You’ve never been more right. Goodbye daytime."
ugh, so tomorrow I will yet again set my alarm for 9am in the hopes that I will actually rise at that time. All I know is that I have a meeting at 1pm. so, regardless, I will still be up earlier than normal.
Unemployment can be a bitch when trying to maintain some semblance of a schedule.
I have to go eat breakfast though...more later.
ugh, so tomorrow I will yet again set my alarm for 9am in the hopes that I will actually rise at that time. All I know is that I have a meeting at 1pm. so, regardless, I will still be up earlier than normal.
Unemployment can be a bitch when trying to maintain some semblance of a schedule.
I have to go eat breakfast though...more later.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
oh, i'm jumping on that bandwagon
so, i recently started this whole blog thing. one may not know it based off of the excessive number of posts i've made in the past few days; however, if one were truly following the blog one would know that i am unemployed and have more time than the average person on my hands.
anyway, i stumbled across a jewel of a blog today: The Rest is Still Unwritten. seriously, this dude is amazing. besides the fact that he is an amazingly raw, real, and emotional writer...he is super cute. but really, you don't even need to see his picture to love this guy. the way he writes and the things he says make you (or at least me anyway) want to be loved by him. perhaps i am crazy. all i'm sayin' is just read his blog before you judge.
he wrote this post where he shared 101 things about him. it was chock full of random facts about him...stuff most people wouldn't know. now, if you know me really well, you know that i have a book on my coffee table that is basically this same principle, "Dailey Dose of Emily." (P.S. the first entry is that i can not spell...i know that daily was misspelled.) but, i was inspired to write more. or to try to at least. perhaps there will be some repetition, but just as my new blog crush i will attempt to be completely honest...rolling funny, sad, shocking, scary, silly, and the like all into one.
1. i was voted Best Personality in high school, but i am afraid to go to my reunion because i don't think anyone will remember me. the truth is that i only really won because so many people got nominated that i was the one with the majority...it wasn't overwhelming though.
2. i have in irrational fear of peeing my pants. when a bathroom is not immediately accessible i suddenly have an overwhelming urge to pee. (for the record i have not peed myself in over two decades)
3. i remember the night we moved out of the house we shared with my dad. my mom's friend's yelled at me for having so much shit under my bed. really? was that the appropriate thing to do to a young kid who really didn't know they were moving?
4. i wanted a SkipIt so bad in third grade. all the cool girls had them on the playground.
5. i never got one.
6. i one upped them and got a boyfriend.
7. i get ridiculously excited about buying new panties and have spent more money at victoria's secret than i should admit to.
8. my mom didn't know that my new year's resolution in high school to "stop falling asleep on the bathroom floor" had nothing to do with me working late hours and everything to do with me smoking pot.
9. my brother, cousins, and i made up this story about a dead dog that was kept under the bed at my grandmother's house. we use to try to get my youngest cousin (who wasn't in on secret) to stick her hand down the side of the bed to touch it. we laughed when she wouldn't and started crying.
10. i've never cheated on someone.
11. i've been cheated on more times than i would like to think about.
12. i wonder if it is me or that i have terrible taste in guys.
13. i always won the sit and reach competition in school.
14. i secretly wouldn't mind being a stay at home mom.
15. my dad has told both my brother and i at one point that we were adopted. he probably kept the joke alive longer than necessary- neither of us really are adopted.
16. i am really good at fake crying.
17. i've always said that i would marry a guy if he bought me breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream.
18. i go so far out of my way to make my partner happy that i probably turn them away.
19. my parents have told me that when i was a kid and we would eat at this one particular restaurant all i would order and eat was cole slaw
20. i have memories of cheating on a spelling test in first grade.
21. i memorized the homeless people on my route home from work and would get worried when i didn't see them...i was afraid something happened to them.
22. i went to europe for five weeks in college. i got really homesick even though i was with by brother and his best friend. and i did go to school anywhere near "home," so it didn't really make sense.
23. i've never ridden a horse.
24. i loaned an ex-boyfriend $500 to pay for his DUI lawyer because he couldn't stop drinking and save money. he never fully paid me back. surprise.
25. my heart melts when guys kiss me on my forehead.
26. i talked to my dog alfie as if he were going to respond.
27. i drank about a bottle and a half of vodka when we put him to sleep.
28. i still miss him.
29. when i see a large grassy hill or field i have this overwhelming urge to take off running toward it.
30. i giggle if someone farts in the stall next to me.
31. if i see something in a store that i like...i touch it.
32. i miss my brothers more than they know.
33. college was the first school i went to for more three years.
34. i got a tattoo with my best friend because we were eating breakfast and couldn't think of anything else to do that day.
35. i never throw away the fortunes from fortune cookies. i think it is bad luck.
36. i've spent the entire day in a towel watching tv because i was too lazy to put on clothes after a shower.
37. on two occasions i called in sick to work saying that the dog was throwing up...the dog was not throwing up.
38. i have no gall bladder, well, except for the stuffed one my friend bought me.
39. my heart still beats fast when i watch My So Called Life and Jordan Catalano grabs Angela's hand in the hallway so that everyone can see.
40. i once told a doctor i was 16 after he asked my age. i was 18. i don't even know why i said it.
41. it still makes me happy when Rerun jumps on the back of the truck at the end of the credits for What's Happening!!
42. i recognize it would make more sense for the punctuation after What's Happening to be a question mark, but the show uses two exclamation points.
43. i think i started experiencing major depression in high school. my parent's thought i was just being overly dramatic and perhaps i did too. all i know is that i couldn't make it stop.
44. my parents never talked about God at home, so i become really uncomfortable talking about him with other people. i just don't know if i think it is one of those things you should talk about or just let it be private.
45. out of stubbornness i peed in a trashcan because my older brother wouldn't get off of the toilet. i could have used another bathroom. (i was probably 7 years old for the record)
46. i bite the inside of my cheek when i am nervous.
47. after my first kiss the boy tried to do much more. he didn't care that i said no.
48. i have more pillows on my bed than any one person needs.
49. i really only use two to sleep with. i like the rest there to make the bed feel more full.
50. i started skiing when i was four years old.
51. i sometimes felt hypocritical working at a domestic violence shelter when i continued to ignore what happened in my own family.
52. i become more passionate talking about domestic violence than probably anything else i ever talk about.
53. i worry more than i let on that no one really loves me.
54. i moved to nashville because a boy broke my heart.
55. i told a boy i was dating he was gay...because he was. he cried and said he was scared. i held his hand.
56. he is my friend today, but i probably still love him.
57. i can drink most guys under the table.
58. i never turn down a free shot.
59. i started wearing a bra before any of the other girls in my class. i was really embarrassed about having boobs and didn't want anyone to know.
60. i still sometimes think my boobs are overwhelming.
61. i secretly find it sexy when guys smoke.
62. some of my most fond memories of my mom are from when she was sick and i would crawl in bed with her. i felt like she really needed and wanted me there.
63. some days i can't get out of bed. i would like to...i just don't know how.
64. i never told anyone how abandoned i felt after they said they would be there for me...and weren't. it was as if everyone left me alone at that doctor's office.
65. i feel much safer on a plane when the flight attendants are walking around. when i was younger and afraid to fly. i would push the attendant call button just to make them get up and walk over to me. i knew that if we were crashing they wouldn't do that.
66. i am almost always running low on or out of toilet paper.
67. i don't know how to whistle or snap my fingers.
68. i didn't dissect animals in middle school because the "cool" girls weren't doing it. i wasn't really all that grossed out.
69. i want to be swept off my feet by someone who loves me in a hoodie and yoga pants.
70. i give a pretty good back massage.
71. i know i really like someone if i'm not nervous to be naked in front of them.
72. i use to write fake diary entries when i was little because my stepsister wanted to read what i wrote.
73. i started watching soap operas when i was nine. i got hooked because my grandfather watched them. whenever we would see each other we would talk about the latest love triangles.
74. i've never had anyone really close to me die. i am terrified for it to happen.
75. i have a box labeled "stuff only i care about." it couldn't be more true.
76. i had a troll collection when i was a kid. it is rather embarrassing how large it was.
77. what is even more embarrassing is that i can't bring myself to get rid of any of them.
78. i've never stolen anything, well that i can remember.
79. i regularly wonder if my friends really like me because i have a hard time liking myself some times.
80. my hair gets really messy when i sleep and i call it chicken hair. my family has adopted the phrase and we use it as if it is a real word.
81. i always felt like i was compared to my older brother growing up and that i could never be as good as he was. i spent a lot of time trying to be like him but never feeling like i measured up. what i am now realizing is that there was no "as good as" because we are just different people...you can't measure us like that.
82. i am excited to move into an assisted living community one day. i can't wait to just hang out with my friends and do nothing.
83. i think breakfast for dinner is a cop out and when i have a family of my own i will not make them eat it.
84. there is nothing sexier than waking up in the middle of the night next to someone and continuing as if you never went to sleep.
85. the thought of living in the suburbs now scares me.
86. when i'm in a relationship, i never do the whole "i've got a headache" thing.
87. my mom, brother, and i lived in a trailer park for a few months after my parents separated.
88. i don't usually know how to back down in a argument.
89. i had two imaginary friends growing up.
90. peppy party was the main one.
91. amy was the other. she was my sister. she lived in florida, but was dead because she smoked cigarettes.
92. i obviously had an overactive imagination when i was younger.
93. i convinced by older brother to flood our upstairs bathroom with me when i was about four or five. i have no idea why i was doing it...or why he went along.
94. my mom says she had trouble yelling at me when i was a kid because i would just laugh and she couldn't keep a straight face.
95. i don't really sound like an adult on the phone.
96. although i am extremely indecisive, when i make a decision i firmly believe in it and rarely ever waiver.
97. watching the videos from when my little brother was on tour with his band make me realize he is probably cooler than me.
98. i don't always wash my hands in a public restroom. for some reason, i think it makes them dirtier. for that reason i try to always carry hand sanitizer.
99. i think pigeons are beautiful.
100. when i hold hands with someone i want my hand to be on the bottom.
101. there are people out there that probably don't know it, but they saved my life.
anyway, i stumbled across a jewel of a blog today: The Rest is Still Unwritten. seriously, this dude is amazing. besides the fact that he is an amazingly raw, real, and emotional writer...he is super cute. but really, you don't even need to see his picture to love this guy. the way he writes and the things he says make you (or at least me anyway) want to be loved by him. perhaps i am crazy. all i'm sayin' is just read his blog before you judge.
he wrote this post where he shared 101 things about him. it was chock full of random facts about him...stuff most people wouldn't know. now, if you know me really well, you know that i have a book on my coffee table that is basically this same principle, "Dailey Dose of Emily." (P.S. the first entry is that i can not spell...i know that daily was misspelled.) but, i was inspired to write more. or to try to at least. perhaps there will be some repetition, but just as my new blog crush i will attempt to be completely honest...rolling funny, sad, shocking, scary, silly, and the like all into one.
1. i was voted Best Personality in high school, but i am afraid to go to my reunion because i don't think anyone will remember me. the truth is that i only really won because so many people got nominated that i was the one with the majority...it wasn't overwhelming though.
2. i have in irrational fear of peeing my pants. when a bathroom is not immediately accessible i suddenly have an overwhelming urge to pee. (for the record i have not peed myself in over two decades)
3. i remember the night we moved out of the house we shared with my dad. my mom's friend's yelled at me for having so much shit under my bed. really? was that the appropriate thing to do to a young kid who really didn't know they were moving?
4. i wanted a SkipIt so bad in third grade. all the cool girls had them on the playground.
5. i never got one.
6. i one upped them and got a boyfriend.
7. i get ridiculously excited about buying new panties and have spent more money at victoria's secret than i should admit to.
8. my mom didn't know that my new year's resolution in high school to "stop falling asleep on the bathroom floor" had nothing to do with me working late hours and everything to do with me smoking pot.
9. my brother, cousins, and i made up this story about a dead dog that was kept under the bed at my grandmother's house. we use to try to get my youngest cousin (who wasn't in on secret) to stick her hand down the side of the bed to touch it. we laughed when she wouldn't and started crying.
10. i've never cheated on someone.
11. i've been cheated on more times than i would like to think about.
12. i wonder if it is me or that i have terrible taste in guys.
13. i always won the sit and reach competition in school.
14. i secretly wouldn't mind being a stay at home mom.
15. my dad has told both my brother and i at one point that we were adopted. he probably kept the joke alive longer than necessary- neither of us really are adopted.
16. i am really good at fake crying.
17. i've always said that i would marry a guy if he bought me breyer's mint chocolate chip ice cream.
18. i go so far out of my way to make my partner happy that i probably turn them away.
19. my parents have told me that when i was a kid and we would eat at this one particular restaurant all i would order and eat was cole slaw
20. i have memories of cheating on a spelling test in first grade.
21. i memorized the homeless people on my route home from work and would get worried when i didn't see them...i was afraid something happened to them.
22. i went to europe for five weeks in college. i got really homesick even though i was with by brother and his best friend. and i did go to school anywhere near "home," so it didn't really make sense.
23. i've never ridden a horse.
24. i loaned an ex-boyfriend $500 to pay for his DUI lawyer because he couldn't stop drinking and save money. he never fully paid me back. surprise.
25. my heart melts when guys kiss me on my forehead.
26. i talked to my dog alfie as if he were going to respond.
27. i drank about a bottle and a half of vodka when we put him to sleep.
28. i still miss him.
29. when i see a large grassy hill or field i have this overwhelming urge to take off running toward it.
30. i giggle if someone farts in the stall next to me.
31. if i see something in a store that i like...i touch it.
32. i miss my brothers more than they know.
33. college was the first school i went to for more three years.
34. i got a tattoo with my best friend because we were eating breakfast and couldn't think of anything else to do that day.
35. i never throw away the fortunes from fortune cookies. i think it is bad luck.
36. i've spent the entire day in a towel watching tv because i was too lazy to put on clothes after a shower.
37. on two occasions i called in sick to work saying that the dog was throwing up...the dog was not throwing up.
38. i have no gall bladder, well, except for the stuffed one my friend bought me.
39. my heart still beats fast when i watch My So Called Life and Jordan Catalano grabs Angela's hand in the hallway so that everyone can see.
40. i once told a doctor i was 16 after he asked my age. i was 18. i don't even know why i said it.
41. it still makes me happy when Rerun jumps on the back of the truck at the end of the credits for What's Happening!!
42. i recognize it would make more sense for the punctuation after What's Happening to be a question mark, but the show uses two exclamation points.
43. i think i started experiencing major depression in high school. my parent's thought i was just being overly dramatic and perhaps i did too. all i know is that i couldn't make it stop.
44. my parents never talked about God at home, so i become really uncomfortable talking about him with other people. i just don't know if i think it is one of those things you should talk about or just let it be private.
45. out of stubbornness i peed in a trashcan because my older brother wouldn't get off of the toilet. i could have used another bathroom. (i was probably 7 years old for the record)
46. i bite the inside of my cheek when i am nervous.
47. after my first kiss the boy tried to do much more. he didn't care that i said no.
48. i have more pillows on my bed than any one person needs.
49. i really only use two to sleep with. i like the rest there to make the bed feel more full.
50. i started skiing when i was four years old.
51. i sometimes felt hypocritical working at a domestic violence shelter when i continued to ignore what happened in my own family.
52. i become more passionate talking about domestic violence than probably anything else i ever talk about.
53. i worry more than i let on that no one really loves me.
54. i moved to nashville because a boy broke my heart.
55. i told a boy i was dating he was gay...because he was. he cried and said he was scared. i held his hand.
56. he is my friend today, but i probably still love him.
57. i can drink most guys under the table.
58. i never turn down a free shot.
59. i started wearing a bra before any of the other girls in my class. i was really embarrassed about having boobs and didn't want anyone to know.
60. i still sometimes think my boobs are overwhelming.
61. i secretly find it sexy when guys smoke.
62. some of my most fond memories of my mom are from when she was sick and i would crawl in bed with her. i felt like she really needed and wanted me there.
63. some days i can't get out of bed. i would like to...i just don't know how.
64. i never told anyone how abandoned i felt after they said they would be there for me...and weren't. it was as if everyone left me alone at that doctor's office.
65. i feel much safer on a plane when the flight attendants are walking around. when i was younger and afraid to fly. i would push the attendant call button just to make them get up and walk over to me. i knew that if we were crashing they wouldn't do that.
66. i am almost always running low on or out of toilet paper.
67. i don't know how to whistle or snap my fingers.
68. i didn't dissect animals in middle school because the "cool" girls weren't doing it. i wasn't really all that grossed out.
69. i want to be swept off my feet by someone who loves me in a hoodie and yoga pants.
70. i give a pretty good back massage.
71. i know i really like someone if i'm not nervous to be naked in front of them.
72. i use to write fake diary entries when i was little because my stepsister wanted to read what i wrote.
73. i started watching soap operas when i was nine. i got hooked because my grandfather watched them. whenever we would see each other we would talk about the latest love triangles.
74. i've never had anyone really close to me die. i am terrified for it to happen.
75. i have a box labeled "stuff only i care about." it couldn't be more true.
76. i had a troll collection when i was a kid. it is rather embarrassing how large it was.
77. what is even more embarrassing is that i can't bring myself to get rid of any of them.
78. i've never stolen anything, well that i can remember.
79. i regularly wonder if my friends really like me because i have a hard time liking myself some times.
80. my hair gets really messy when i sleep and i call it chicken hair. my family has adopted the phrase and we use it as if it is a real word.
81. i always felt like i was compared to my older brother growing up and that i could never be as good as he was. i spent a lot of time trying to be like him but never feeling like i measured up. what i am now realizing is that there was no "as good as" because we are just different people...you can't measure us like that.
82. i am excited to move into an assisted living community one day. i can't wait to just hang out with my friends and do nothing.
83. i think breakfast for dinner is a cop out and when i have a family of my own i will not make them eat it.
84. there is nothing sexier than waking up in the middle of the night next to someone and continuing as if you never went to sleep.
85. the thought of living in the suburbs now scares me.
86. when i'm in a relationship, i never do the whole "i've got a headache" thing.
87. my mom, brother, and i lived in a trailer park for a few months after my parents separated.
88. i don't usually know how to back down in a argument.
89. i had two imaginary friends growing up.
90. peppy party was the main one.
91. amy was the other. she was my sister. she lived in florida, but was dead because she smoked cigarettes.
92. i obviously had an overactive imagination when i was younger.
93. i convinced by older brother to flood our upstairs bathroom with me when i was about four or five. i have no idea why i was doing it...or why he went along.
94. my mom says she had trouble yelling at me when i was a kid because i would just laugh and she couldn't keep a straight face.
95. i don't really sound like an adult on the phone.
96. although i am extremely indecisive, when i make a decision i firmly believe in it and rarely ever waiver.
97. watching the videos from when my little brother was on tour with his band make me realize he is probably cooler than me.
98. i don't always wash my hands in a public restroom. for some reason, i think it makes them dirtier. for that reason i try to always carry hand sanitizer.
99. i think pigeons are beautiful.
100. when i hold hands with someone i want my hand to be on the bottom.
101. there are people out there that probably don't know it, but they saved my life.
Friday, August 21, 2009
time check
yep, that's right. it is after 5am. i am awake. writing a blog. i don't really know how this happened. somehow during this unemployment thing i'm doing this summer i took on the sleeping habits of an infant. societal norms...forget about 'em. i sleep on no man's schedule. well, perhaps a man that works really odd hours. but, it is a terrible schedule we'll just say that.
i've found myself awake well into the night (ehem, morning) for the past several days. it is starting to become a problem. i've shared this concern with others and have received a myriad of advice: just sleep when you are tired, take advantage of it and have fun, just lay there until you fall asleep, go to walgreens and get an over the counter allergy medicine. that last one was from my mother. she said, "it will make you drowsy and if your allergies are bothering you it will help with that too." to which i responded, "my allergies are not bothering me." and she said, "well just try it." coincidentally, my older brother told me that she gave him similar advice. when he informed her his allergies were bad she said, "go to walgreens and get an over the counter sleep aid. it will help your allergies and it will also help you sleep." to which he stated, "i'm not having trouble sleeping." she said, "well your sister is." (what?)
perhaps if my brother and I were conjoined twins it would be a good deal. you know those girls (apparently named Abby and Brittany) with the one body and two heads...well, when one is sick the other has to take the medicine. i heard it when they were on oprah or something.
P.S. i had to put this actual picture in here...not like the school photo hyperlinked above. how can two people ride one bike and get the timing right when I can barely ride a bike and I only have one brain controlling me?
HOLD THE PHONE i just found this picture:
...talk about an awkward place for your twin. "uhm, could you skewtch to the side? i need to pee."
this is meant to be no offense to conjoined twins. in fact, i can't get enough of them.
but really, back to what i was originally saying...perhaps my mom was thinking of this same principle (the Abby and Brittany medicine principle) when she "prescribed" me medication for allergies and my brother medication for sleep...there will be some cross pollination or whatever it does when one person takes a medicine and another feels the benefit. but, P.S. my mother is not a doctor or a pharmacist. you would not know it though by looking at her medicine cabinet, which by the way spills out from the actual medicine cabinet into two others...another one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen. let's just say she is prepared for anything.
anyway, the point is...i can't sleep. i did get really tired today (well, yesterday) at 7:30pm. i decided to seize the opportunity and go to bed. i figured that the worst thing that would happen would be that i would wake up at 6am or something and perhaps get back on a normal schedule. nope. 2am. i was wide awake. so my little plan failed and here i sit writing about how i wish i could be sleeping. oh, and google image searching the hell out of some Abby and Brittany. conjoined twins get me every time.
(oh, and don't believe the time stamp below...it was 4am when i started writing. after a bathroom break. a break to get some water. and, some google image searching...it is 5am)
i've found myself awake well into the night (ehem, morning) for the past several days. it is starting to become a problem. i've shared this concern with others and have received a myriad of advice: just sleep when you are tired, take advantage of it and have fun, just lay there until you fall asleep, go to walgreens and get an over the counter allergy medicine. that last one was from my mother. she said, "it will make you drowsy and if your allergies are bothering you it will help with that too." to which i responded, "my allergies are not bothering me." and she said, "well just try it." coincidentally, my older brother told me that she gave him similar advice. when he informed her his allergies were bad she said, "go to walgreens and get an over the counter sleep aid. it will help your allergies and it will also help you sleep." to which he stated, "i'm not having trouble sleeping." she said, "well your sister is." (what?)
perhaps if my brother and I were conjoined twins it would be a good deal. you know those girls (apparently named Abby and Brittany) with the one body and two heads...well, when one is sick the other has to take the medicine. i heard it when they were on oprah or something.
P.S. i had to put this actual picture in here...not like the school photo hyperlinked above. how can two people ride one bike and get the timing right when I can barely ride a bike and I only have one brain controlling me?HOLD THE PHONE i just found this picture:
...talk about an awkward place for your twin. "uhm, could you skewtch to the side? i need to pee."
this is meant to be no offense to conjoined twins. in fact, i can't get enough of them.
but really, back to what i was originally saying...perhaps my mom was thinking of this same principle (the Abby and Brittany medicine principle) when she "prescribed" me medication for allergies and my brother medication for sleep...there will be some cross pollination or whatever it does when one person takes a medicine and another feels the benefit. but, P.S. my mother is not a doctor or a pharmacist. you would not know it though by looking at her medicine cabinet, which by the way spills out from the actual medicine cabinet into two others...another one in the bathroom and one in the kitchen. let's just say she is prepared for anything.
anyway, the point is...i can't sleep. i did get really tired today (well, yesterday) at 7:30pm. i decided to seize the opportunity and go to bed. i figured that the worst thing that would happen would be that i would wake up at 6am or something and perhaps get back on a normal schedule. nope. 2am. i was wide awake. so my little plan failed and here i sit writing about how i wish i could be sleeping. oh, and google image searching the hell out of some Abby and Brittany. conjoined twins get me every time.
(oh, and don't believe the time stamp below...it was 4am when i started writing. after a bathroom break. a break to get some water. and, some google image searching...it is 5am)
Friday, August 14, 2009
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