spice up your life

I always had pet growing up. There was always some animal or something living in our house. Most of the time it was dogs, but we did have our fair share of fish, turtles, cats, and hamsters.

My younger brother was probably too little to remember the turtles or the hamsters...and he wasn't even alive for the cats. But, he always asked for a pet of his own. You see, we had a dog for the majority of his life. The dog was mine, Alfie. Although he was a "family" dog, he was really my dog. He was given to me for Christmas in seventh grade. He was probably the best present I have ever gotten. I loved him like he was my child.

It wasn't that my brother didn't like Alfie. On the contrary, he loved Alfie. He just wanted something to call his own. So, after much begging my parents gave in and bought him a hamster. I'm not really sure why. We had done the whole hamster thing in the past. It never ends well. Hamsters are kind of boring pets. They don't do much. You lose interest after a while. Its probably a terrible thing to say, but it's just the truth. But, for whatever reason, my parents decided on a hamster for my brother.

My brother went through an interesting stage in late elementary school. He was very into music. I'm sort of at a loss of words for how to describe his musical taste, so I will just share that he named the hamster Baby Spice. That's right, after the Spice Girl.

We quickly learned that Baby Spice was no regular hamster. There was the whole incident a few months after we got her when my mom was very concerned Baby Spice was pregnant because she had a weird "growth." My mom called the vet to describe what the hamster looked like and to have her suspicions confirmed. Turns out my mom was very wrong. Baby Spice was definitely not pregnant...she just had giant balls. That's right, Baby Spice was a boy. She was a he. Even after learning her true sex we never changed his name.

But, the mistaken gender issue aside, Baby Spice was unlike any other pet we had ever owned. (Forgive me in advance because I will probably get the the gender appropriate pronouns mixed up from time to time.) Yes, in addition to being well endowed, Baby Spice had a taste for adventure. He was constantly escaping his little hamster cage. Nothing ever stopped him. At one time he chewed a hole through the side of the plastic hamster cage just to get out. Baby Spice went missing on more occasions than I can even recall. His favorite thing to do was to escape and run through the air vents of our house for a few days. He would usually come out after we would set up food and call him through the vents. But, for the sake of entertainment I will list for you some of the most memorable places Baby Spice was found including the length of time that had elapsed from his escape.

1. In a small trash can, waiting to be emptied, that was sitting on the steps leading to the garage of our house- missing for a couple of days
2. In the bushes in the front yard- missing for about a month
   
3. In the air vent in my bedroom- missing for a couple days
4. In the air vent in our laundry room (lured out by a song my mom made up about Baby Spice...and food)- missing at least a week
5. In the garage- missing for almost two months

Yep, Baby Spice had a taste for adventure. We were sure that last trip was it. After over a month went by we were sure Baby Spice was gone. We cranked up the heat and then the air hoping to flush him out of the air vents if that is where he was hiding. No luck. So, we sort of gave up. With no weird smells we figured Baby Spice found some pack of wild hamsters and was gone for good. Or dead somewhere. It was the middle of summer and it was over 100 degrees almost ever day. How could one little hamster survive all alone? Apparently by taking up residence in your garage and eating through a 40lb. bag of dog food. That's right. I found Baby Spice in our garage really late one night. I wanted to wake everyone up in the whole house because I was so amazed. It was like capturing Big Foot or spotting Loch Ness. Baby Spice was considered to be gone forever and he was back!

Since it was late I left notes on every one's bedroom door saying to check Baby Spice's cage...he had been brought back into captivity.

Turns out captivity didn't suit him very well. He died the next day. You took the whole, "give me liberty or give me death," thing a little too far don't you think, Baby Spice?

Needless to say, we will never get another hamster. You should think about not getting one as well.