Now that you have read aforementioned blog post, you understand why this is a big deal. I've lived in this apartment for over a year now. I lived next door to the most vomiting person on the planet and I've never seen him. Not once. Never have we passed in the hallway, taken the elevator together (what, I live on the third floor and take the elevator...deal with it)...we have never seen each other...that is until this morning. I got up to go do some impulse spending at Walgreens and grab a cup of coffee. Upon my return I got to my door and his door swings open. I almost wanted to turn my head to the side so I couldn't see the man behind the...vomit veil....let's run with it and pretend it makes sense. I couldn't resist though. I looked right into his throw up eyes and responded when he said hello. And you can bet your sweet ass it took everything in me not to blurt out, "So, what the fuck is up with all the throwing up? I mean seriously. Not only are you seriously playing with the health of your esophagus and teeth, but I am worried about my plumbing." 80% worried about my plumbing 20% worried about his health. Sorry...I don't know him. I have to say though that I was disappointed. In front of me stood a slightly pudgy Asian dude. Totally dorky. And not at all bulimic looking. He had hair, that needed cutting, pretty much ruling out the chemotherapy theory.So, I am sort of pissed at him for letting me see him. He has ruined the magic. Now every time he throws up with the violence that I have come to know and expect....I will see he dorky ass vomit face and it will be slightly less funny.
Why vomiter? (Yep, you are downgraded to a lower case letter) Why did you ruin my throw up dreams?
5 comments:
HAHAHA - this is one of my favorite things ever. I'm sorry that you have to live in close proximity to someone who vomits with such careless abandon, but it does make for a pretty good story!
PS - impulse spending in Walgreens? Word. I have a conspiracy theory about them and their ability to make me walk out of there with $7,000 worth of q-tips, bandaids, candles, and a twilight board game.
Oh, it makes for great stories! Don't be sorry...I sort of like it. He seriously makes me laugh every time he starts throwing up.
And fuckin' Walgreens impulse spending. I went there wanting to buy conditioner and walked out with about ten items...none of which were conditioner. So, I will be there tomorrow. It is basically next door, so I am there about everyday.
Ugghh my bf vomits SOOO loudly too! Like the world is going to end if he doesn't get it out. I can't imagine it 3 times a day though.
I thought maybe we was from somewhere in Asia and wasn't used to American food, hence the throwing up but it's been a year so that's out. How weird, and mysterious.
If it is American food that is doing this to him, he either needs to move to Chinatown or back to Asia because this throwing up business is out of control!
This is just about one of the grossest stories I've read on a blog. Haha. Maybe someone needs to give MR. vomitor a pep talk. He might have serious health/psychological issues.
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