you didn't get away...i let you go

It's been coming up with increased frequency lately...the one that got a way. This theme of being reminded of my "one" started a few weeks ago over drinks with a friend. Then, I came across a picture of him in the background of some group shot on a friend's Facebook page. And yesterday, I swore I saw him in a little vintage shop. I even doubled back and looked again. It was his twin. Or him. Who knows. I walked away not even knowing totally if it was him or not. I can pretty much promise it wasn't. He doesn't live in Chicago as far as I know. But, it sure looked like him. He has popped up in my dreams and his name appears places. He is haunting me.

It is funny. The idea of "the one that got away." That person is romanticized. You remember only the loveliest of qualities and times. You remember the way they did cute stuff like call you on your way home from work to say they really wanted to make you dinner...if that was okay with you. Or, wink at you across a crowded room to let you know that you might as well be the only two people there. Stuff like when they kissed you it was as if the world didn't exist but in your kiss. How they told you they were proud of you. Or said you were the most favorite friend. You forget about when they dropped off the face of the earth for days at a time. Or how they couldn't say certain words that you needed to hear. You push from memory that they wouldn't come to your family Christmas party. Or that there was a time when you weren't the only one in the room or their heart. You forget all the bad and remember the stuff that makes your heart skip a beat.

But, today as I walked away from that little shop still not knowing if it was him, I thought of something. He wasn't "the one" that got away. I was. Your "one" doesn't get away. They are the one for a reason. They aren't perfect, but they surely don't break your heart in a way that if they ever came back...they wouldn't fit in it anymore.

This isn't a sad realization. It was almost exciting. The whole concept of having one that gets away is a fallacy. No one gets away if they are suppose to be there.